When Caring takes a Toll:
Shedding Light on Caregiver Burnout

• Exhaustion

Taking care of your elder with dementia 24/7 can tire you out physically and mentally.

Physically - having to run through the daily routine and carrying out manual labour such as transferring your elder from one place to another. 

Mentally - having to deal with unforeseen circumstances, being emotionally drained from being at your elder’s beck and call. 

With this very task-demanding role, you barely have time to breathe which could consequently take a toll on you in the long run. The prolonged experience of exhaustion faced by caregivers is known as compassion fatigue. It can result in a lack of empathy, increased negativity, compromising quality care.

​​

• Frequent illnesses

By prioritising your elder’s needs, you tend to neglect yours (consciously or subconsciously). Even the most essential needs like personal hygiene, exercise or regular mealtimes could be looked over if you had to care for your elder at that stipulated timing. This could result in higher possibilities of falling ill and causing additional unintentional problems.

​

• Sleep inconsistencies

Placing your elder’s recovery at the centre of your life now, all you can think about is their welfare. Hence, the slightest worry may keep you up at night as you could be afraid of what happens should you fall asleep. As you have to be there to assist your elder when they are awake, your sleep is affected the moment they rise. That being said, your quality of sleep is essentially compromised, resulting in sleep deprivation. 

​

• Adopting Maladaptive Coping Mechanisms

These are unhealthy or ineffective coping mechanisms to provide temporary relief away from undesirable and overwhelming situations.

​

Some include: 

1. Substances of misuse: Resorting to alcohol or drugs to numb emotions and escape reality temporarily.

2. Unhealthy food or overeating: Food high in sugar and fats could be a source of comfort and distraction away from caregiving responsibilities. 

3. Social withdrawal: Avoiding social interactions and isolating oneself from social networks. This could be due to the myth that caring has no spare time or the lack of energy to mingle.

4. Aggression: Expressing frustration or anger inappropriately and unintentionally as a result of pent up negative emotions, while providing temporary relief, it could potentially be harmful.

5. Procrastination: Delaying important caregiving duties due to the lack of motivation and interest causes tasks to pile up, gradually increasing stress.

6. Escapism: Excessive indulgence in unproductive activities such as gaming and shopping as means to escape from the realities of caregiving may seem effective. However, when uncontrolled, it becomes harmful and does not address the root of the problem. 

7. Self-blame: Putting all the blame on yourself for seemingly failing to meet all the expectations of caregiving is not uncommon. However, unabling to satisfy the demands is perfectly normal, especially if you are new or require assistance. Blaming yourself is simply counterproductive in your journey to provide quality care.

8. Self-denial: Suppressing pent-up emotions as a result of the toll caregiving brings, can result in the denial of the need for self-care. This is unhealthy as it is crucial for you to acknowledge your situation and feelings and take steps to care for yourself too.

9. Changes in appetite - The intensity that caregiving brings can lead to significant changes in appetite, resulting in fluctuations in weight. One such change is stress eating. It is a behaviour where individuals turn to food to cope with or soothe their emotions, particularly during times of stress.

10. Negative emotions - The immense amount of workload could undeniably bring about a lot of negative repressed emotions if you fear that you are incompetent or hopeless. 

11. Stress and Overwhelm: Caregiving can be physically, emotionally, and mentally demanding. Hence, constant pressure can result in feelings of stress, overwhelm, and frustration.

12. Loss and Grief: Many caregivers sacrificed what they used to have to provide care for their elder. However, for progressive conditions like dementia, it is hard to see good progress. These can trigger feelings of grief, especially when everything you have done becomes seemingly futile.

13. Emotional Exhaustion: Caregivers may feel drained from giving so much without receiving adequate self-care or support.

14. Guilt and Self-Doubt: When faced with numerous responsibilities, caregivers may question their decisions and abilities, and spiral into feelings of guilt or uncertainty.

15. Frustration and Anger: From dealing with difficult behaviours, communication issues, or simply feeling overwhelmed by the demands of caregiving, caregivers may experience bouts of frustration or anger due to many different challenges that they face.

16. Apathy: On top of exhaustion and the inherent lack of time to engage in what they used to enjoy, apathy could be a maladaptive coping mechanism that caregivers adopt to conserve their energy. There could also be a sense of numbness when you see no progress after all that you have sacrificed for your elder.